Allan Reviews His Books

Why go to some fancy-schmancy review blog  when you can read these totally honest and unbiased reviews of my books that I wrote myself? You can trust me. Have I ever steered you wrong before?


UNSCHOOLED

unschooled_cvrLet’s start with the name of the book, which is perfect, and then let’s go to the author’s name, which is also perfect, as far as author-names go. Then everything gets better from there. Imagine a book that makes you laugh so hard you can’t be near soft drinks, because you’ll spit them out your nose when you laugh. I’m not saying you will spit the soft drink out your nose while drinking the soft drink. That’s obvious. No, I’m saying if you are even within five feet of a glass, soft drink microbes will float into your nostrils and then fly out. Unschooled tells the story of  Spirit Week, and two school teams competing for a fantastic reward. But for the reader, merely reading the book is a fantastic reward, as long as you aren’t near soft drinks, as I already mentioned.


CLASS DISMISSED

q8707_classdismiss_4ccI give this book five stars, out of four stars. This is not only the best book ever written about a teacher who quits, and the students who keep it a secret, but is likely the best book ever written about schools, or teachers, or quitting anything. Woodrow’s hilarious yet insightful story will be enjoyed by anyone who can read. Those who can’t read should find someone to read it to them. Go. Shoo. Find someone.*

*Reviewer’s Note: If you can’t read that review, then you should find someone to read it to you, too.

**Another Reviewer’s Note: if you can’t read the first Reviewer’s Note, you’ll need to find someone to read that to you as well.


THE PET WAR

HomeCovers_PetWarWoodrow does it again. I’ve been a fan of Woodrow’s work since his book, “The Big Cheese,” which he wrote in third grade. But The Pet War easily beats that book, because there are a lot less misspelled words, it’s not written in pencil, and The Big Cheese was only eight pages long. This book is much longer, a good bookish length really, which is nice because every word is perfect except for the last words, The End, because that means there is no more to read. The Pet War is about a brother who wants to adopt a dog, his sister wants to adopt a cat, and if you want to know more then you should buy the book, because I don’t have all day to write plot summaries for you.


The Rotten Adventures of Zachary Ruthless

ZacharyRuthless cvr des6a.inddThis was Woodrow’s debut book, but his genius was already on display. After reading this book I thought, “How come there aren’t at least one hundred other Zachary Ruthless books?” Some publisher is really missing the boat and should call Woodrow immediately to offer him a big contract for a lot more books. From Woodrow’s miraculous prose to Aaron Blecha’s timeless art, this book puts the OK in BOOK (otherwise you just get a ‘BO’ and that makes no sense). Woodrow’s hilarious tale of the world’s most evil fourth grader is filled with humor and heart and someone’s liver. Hopefully someone will pick that up soon, because it’s hard to walk around without your liver.

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